Sunday, February 23, 2014

Kicking This Thing Off

Hello, my name is David, I ride the Long Island Rail Road to Manhattan, NY 3-5 days per week.  Once in Manhattan, I often take another form of transportation, such as the subway, PATH, or bus to an office, either mine or that of a client.

My train ride is pretty typical for the tri-state area.  An express train will get me to Penn Station in about 45 minutes. Overall one-way commute, door to door, is about one hour and twenty minutes.  Tell anyone in the NY metropolitan area that’s your commute time and you’ll be met with a blank stare that says, “typical.”  Tell someone from outside the area and he will recoil in horror and wonder why anyone would subject himself to this.

Well, I’m a born and raised New Yorker, and my roots run pretty deep, so here I stay.  I’m a pretty observant guy, and I enjoy people-watching.  So, a blog is born.  

Disclaimer: I make no claim that any of the things I point out are real issues - just the contrary.  This however, does not change the fact that people who don’t follow the “rules” need proper education.

If you spend your days at home not meeting anyone, you probably won't follow my thinking.  If you are a super-positive, glass is half full person all the time, you probably won't follow my thinking.  But if you commute on a train or bus, work in an office, or drive on a highway, and a have a reasonably healthy dose of cynicism baked into your personality, then you may relate with the things I observe.

Here are some basic examples of the kinds of people I encounter on the train.  Their behaviors should result in some kind of societal traffic ticket.  In my perfect world, all violators would be required to stand before a judge who would hear each case and then sentence the perpetrators to an appropriate punishment.  Naturally, I would be a prime candidate to be that judge.

Cell Phone Abusers:
  • The meanderer.  The meanderer could be a teenager having a conversation with no direction, a person interviewing a job candidate, a mother talking to her child, a member of Houston Mission Control directing a critical space mission, etc.  If mobile phones are likely to cause brain tumors, the meanderer is at high risk.
  • The highly important businessman.  You know him.  He conducts multi-million dollar deals on his commute.  The word "million" is used a lot.  He's likely wearing a bluetooth headset.
  • The sharer.  The sharer discusses personal matters at a volume just a few decibels below stadium PA speakers.  I know more about one woman's gall bladder than I do about my own organs.
  • The arguer.  The arguer is in a battle with a significant other, who has committed an egregious wrongdoing and must be made aware of this RIGHT NOW, along with everyone else within earshot.
Others include:
  • The seat and armrest boundary violator.  You'll find him on planes, trains, and automobiles.  He oozes into your space.
  • The belligerent intoxicated person.  Grouchy, loud, and drunk.  Most likely, he  has forgotten his ticket and will argue with the conductor.
  • The music lover.  I can listen to all eleven minutes of Led Zeppelin's "In My Time of Dying" (even though they stole it from Blind Willie Dixon, but I digress).  Can you?  Would you want to?  Probably not.  So, I keep my music down on my headphones.  
  • The gum popper.  Don't even get me started.  He deserves the electric chair.
My list could go on and on.  It probably will.  Thanks for reading and sharing your comments.  I look forward to having some fun with this.

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  1. I love it!!! Keep posting, many of us can relate.

  2. Thanks ! The material never ends so I expect to have much to share....

  3. Replies
    1. Thanks Matt. You can also sign up for the email blast feed. Appreciate the support!

  4. Lisa Rattner2/23/2014 10:41 PM

    I have been almost homicidal when in the presence of the gum popper. This includes my own mother. I simply cannot handle it.