Monday, May 26, 2014

How Many Ways Can I Be Late?

Every day, I try to catch the 7:29 express.  Why?  It's a great train.  It originates from my station, and the doors open 15 minutes before departure time.  This means no standing on the platform waiting for the train in bad weather.  As a train commuter, these things matter, and a lot of things will conspire to go wrong in the morning and make me miss my train.  Let's look at a few.

Demanding Four Year Old.  I adore my little guy, I really do.  Just seeing his little smiling happy face brightens my day.  But I know that when he gets up during my morning routine, Vegas increases the odds of me making my train from 2:1 to 100:1.  Those of you with young kids understand what I mean.  I have to handle all kinds of things for him, like changing the TV show he wants to watch until he is happy with what I put on.  Never mind that the boy is perfectly capable of working the remote control.  Other times, I MUST find something he's missing, like sunglasses.  Doesn't every kid need his sunglasses IN the house at 6:45 AM?  These are his emergencies, and I'm his 911 operator.

829 traffic lights on the way to the station.
  I've addressed this before - You can't drive more than 1000 feet on Long Island without coming to an intersection.  My house is about four miles from the train station.  It can take 20 minutes to get there.  What's that, about 12 MPH, on average?  Fantastic!  If I miss a few lights, I’m getting on the 7:40.  Or maybe even the 8:07.

People who do not know how to drive in a parking garage.  This is the one that makes me absolutely nuts.  Are parking garages that complex? You drive in, you follow the arrows.  The arrows direct you around bends and curves.  An open spot appears.  You pull into the spot.  You get on with life.

But sometimes, you get behind someone who is befuddled by the parking lot.  They pull in and immediately slow down.  They look around, they hit the brakes every three seconds.  They stop fully at the stop signs!  It's a parking garage.  According to County Parking Code 829.RJED.0943, stop signs in a parking garage are optional.  Keep moving.

The thing that makes me shake my head the MOST is the guy who slows down and puts on his turn signal to go around a bend.  There's no road.  You aren't turning from Garage Street to Parking Lot Drive.  Tick tock.  I’m missing the train.  For goodness sake, pull over and let the professionals get to work.

Whew, that was a rant.  Thanks for listening.  See you on the 7:29 train.  But if you don't, you know it's because I'm busy changing the TV show from "Bubble Guppies" to "Paw Patrol."

Happy commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.

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