Monday, July 14, 2014

How The Heck Am I Going To Get To Work?

This potential strike is looming heavily.  As the two sides continue to pout and stand on opposite sides like 5th grade boys and girls at a dance, I realize just how royally screwed 299,999 fellow commuters and I will be when these selfish jerks strangle the entire region.  I wonder if they've even given a moment's thought to how much damage this strike is going to cause.  It's not just the commuters.  It's the ancillary businesses.  The taxi stands, coffee shops, newspaper and sundry shops.  Everyone loses.

Many people have got to get to work.  If they don't get to work, they don't get paid.  Is it even possible for these two sides to get together and fundamentally agree that a deal MUST be made and postpone the strike deadline?  Do they recognize the mess they will leave in their wake?  I suppose my thoughts are irrelevant.  They think of themselves, so I have no choice but to think of myself, and my commuting options.

I can work from home.  This will work fine for a few days.  However, my work requires that I see my team, clients, and ensure our projects are moving well and on track.  If this strike drags on, I'll need to find a way into the city.

I can drive.  Rumor has it there will be no cars allowed into Manhattan without at least three people in the vehicle.  I should be able to find a couple of fellow commuters who also need to get into Manhattan.  I could try to park in Queens, and take a subway with the thousands of others.  I shudder just thinking about it.  I'm going to have to get more creative.

I can build a catapult.  All I really need is a strong but flexible rubber band, two tree trunks, and a parachute.  FLING!  I'm in the city in no time.  Hell, even without a strike, I may try this.

I can walk.  It's about 35 miles from my house to the office.  What's 2+ marathons per day?  Think of the shape I'll be in when I walk 70 miles per day.  Take THAT, LIRR.

I can build a teleporter.  How awesome would life be if we had teleporter technology?  Highways would be a thing of the past.  I could tell the LIRR to kiss my astronomical technology.

Next week, if you happen to see something fly through the sky shaped like a man, that would be me trying out my catapult.  More likely though, you'll find me walking on the side of the highway.  Feel free to stop and give me a ride.

Happy commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.

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