Monday, September 15, 2014

A Morning Stroll In Search Of a Seat

This morning, I made a dash from the parking lot to the platform.  I had no choice but to get on at Seventh Avenue side, or the east side of the train. It is always crowded there, and finding a seat is too competitive for my taste. To illustrate, I've included a crude drawing below. As you can see by the purple arrow on the right side, I came up the steps to the platform on the east side, to face a throng of bald, faceless, and extremely short commuters who want to get on the train from the Seventh Avenue side.

Before I boarded, I decided I would walk through the cars to the 8th Avenue side, where it would be quieter. As I made my way from car 12 to car 2, a blog post happened.

Car 12: All Aboard the Clown Car!  I stood on the platform with about 829 people who all wanted to get in car 12. Within 5 nanoseconds or so of the doors opening, the seats were all taken.  After another minute or two, the aisles were clear and I started toward the next car.

Car 11: Your Average, Garden Variety Obnoxiousness.  This must have been the party car.  A guy on his mobile phone was yelling at his significant other, "YOU NEED TO PUT IT IN THE TRASH.  NO! I SAID, IN THE TRASH!!" I guess trash knows trash.  Others in the car were happily chatting. Loudly. This was the post-coffee car. I needed the pre-coffee car. NEXT.

Car 10: Yes! I FINALLY get to use my pole vaulting skills to get past your suitcase in the aisle. 
Given the number of suitcases in my way, this must be the Nomad car. "No sir, it's fine!  Please! Leave your 15 suitcases in the aisle, it's fine. Fortunately, I brought my athletic equipment, and will fly, to your astonishment, over these bags and be on my way.

Car 9: Construction Guy going TOWARD the crowded section. "It only gets worse in that direction," I said to him." "Thanks, he says. But I have to get to that side." I'd ask why, but then again, I just want to sit. Whatever. Good luck, sir.

Car 8: The Fragrant Smell of the Lavatory.  Mmmmm, it's like a combination of orchids, peonies, and berries. Actually it's not. It smells like a college dorm room carpet after a keg party. Keep going to next car. 

Car 7: Highly Observant Conductor Checking Tickets. I walked right by him, and he didn't ask me for my ticket. Why do I pay for monthly commuter pass when fare avoidance is this easy?

Car 6: Found a seat.  Forget going to Car 2. Found a seat, next to a rail-thin woman who appeared very hungry. JACKPOT!  And then it occurs to me why this seat is open. In the next row are two guys vigorously discussing the merits of sci-fi novels. After coffee, I'd probably listen and maybe even join the conversation. Before coffee, they're evil beings. They'll be quiet eventually. They won't? Ok fine. I have my headphones. 

Them PLD (Post Labor Day) blues continue.


Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.

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  1. ah, the thrill of being forced to listen to the inane conversations of others. ok, inane might be too harsh. we'll generously call them uninteresting conversations. my personal favorite is a group of commuters who meet every morning/afternoon and occupy 3 to 4 seats. they'll talk loudly to each other for the entire ride. sometimes the train makes me irritable!

    1. Let's put it this way - They are conversations that no one else needs to be part of. I've learned to avoid the groups of commuters who meet and occupy a few seats. I don't want to be a scrooge, let them have their fun. I just don't want to sit near them. I like a peaceful commute.