Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Going Off The Rails Again

TTIV published a post​ a few weeks back, containing random musings. Thanks to all the positive responses, we're doing this again. As I sit here watching game 4 of the NLCS between the Mets and Cubs, my mind has wandered, as it often does, to commuting. Let's get right to the sound bites in another edition of "Off the Rails."

How is it that not one set of rails exists to allow express trains to run full-speed through Jamaica?

Today on the train I listened to two women make small talk about how they dislike small talk.

If you bring food on the train, have enough for everybody. Unless it smells, in which case you should take a bus.

Whenever I drive over a grade crossing, I think, "this is the day the crossing gates malfunction and I'll be track pizza."

Two of my kids have their own phones. I'm becoming a quiet car rule violator. I don't care. I'm glad they call a lot.

All one really needs in life is a food replicator and a holodeck. With such technology readily available, I don't know why they bothered hurtling through space on Star Trek.

Conductors should wear costumes for Halloween. It seems like the right thing to do.

Why isn't there a Minor Deegan?

When on the train and my computer is open, there is a good chance no one will sit next to me. Why? Who knows, but I'll keep doing it.

How come conductors don't punch tickets mid-month anymore?

With a functional, available overhead rack, why do people pile up their belongings in their laps?

And finally...

I wonder if I could eliminate commuting by purchasing a drone to fly me from my house to my office. Nah. "The Drone In Vain" doesn't sound as good.

Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.
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  1. I was just pondering about the mid month punch myself! The conductors used to come screaming through the cars "PUNCH DAY! PUNCH DAY!" Maybe someone punched them in the face one day and the union God's forbid the LIRR from ever doing mid month ticket checks ever again?

  2. I don't know the reason for it, but you can be sure that eliminating the mid-month punch day was a concession for adding something highly technical, such as ensuring the doors are closed when the train is in motion, or perhaps turning the lights on in the seating areas.